Posts in category: Babble

Babble 07/22/2008

Matthew McConauKook

Well I found myself in the water with the Surfer Dude himself this weekend, at an un-crowded semi-private point break (in front of his house) and I thought I’d give an honest firsthand report.

He’s a total kook.

He can’t surf for shit, he paddles like a beginner (on his chest too much), and when he stands up it’s a really silly looking squat. And his teeth are way too white.

He’s really vocal when he paddles for the wave, saying stuff out-loud like “Yeah…come on…yeah….come on…here we go…lets go baby…” It’s pretty funny.

But, the thing is, the guy was totally stoked! He was super-friendly, outgoing and talkative (a bit too much), smiling the whole time, cheering on his friends, and honestly looked like he was having more fun than anyone else.

He also didn’t really get in the way much at all, and he didn’t do the accidental snake like most beginners do. I didn’t see him even really go for waves that other people were paddling for.

So overall, I’d say he surfs like any other beginner jock from Texas, but more stoked and with better etiquette. And abs.

Babble 07/15/2008

Surfing vs. the Senate by Jesse Ventura

There was a lot of talk this week about former Pro Wrestler turned Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura running for the U.S. Senate. He squashed these rumors yesterday by saying:

“My decision came down to surfing vs. the Senate, and I found surfing to be much more honorable than the Senate,” Ventura said.

Click here for the full story.

Babble 07/07/2008

Vincent Gallo's Sperm

I think Vincent Gallo is really talented and funny. I’m not sure if he means to be funny, but he is. I became a fan after watching Buffalo 66, and even though his next film The Brown Bunny was absolutely unwatchable (even with the real life Chloe Sevingny blow job), I’m still a fan because he’s such a unique character. He really is a talented photographer/director/actor/painter/musician and writer (as you can tell from the description he wrote below), and he sells a lot of things on his website. My previous favorite listing was the VINCENT GALLO evenings, weekends escort listing, but now he’s followed it up with an even better one.

Vincent Gallo’s Sperm: $1,000,000

Price includes all costs related to one attempt at an in-vitro fertilization. (A $50,000 value) If the first attempt at in vitro fertilization is unsuccessful, purchaser of sperm must pay all medical costs related to additional attempts. Mr. Gallo will supply sperm for as many attempts as it takes to complete a successful fertilization and successful delivery. Sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr. Gallo who is drug, alcohol and disease free. If the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm itself.

Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well aware of Mr. Gallo’s multiple talents, but to add further insight into the value of Mr. Gallo’s sperm, aside from being multi talented in all creative fields, he was also multi talented as an athlete, winning several awards for performing in the games of baseball, football and hockey and making it to the professional level of grand prix motorcycle racing. Mr. Gallo is 5’11” and has blue eyes. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it’s a boy. (8 inches if he’s like his father.) I don’t know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can’t hurt. Mr. Gallo also presently maintains a distinctively full head of hair and at the age of 43 has surprisingly few gray hairs. Though his features are sharp and extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtly featured female. Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar.

To be clear, the purchase of Mr. Gallo’s sperm does not include the use of the name Gallo. The purchaser must find another surname for the child.

This service is available, but is only payable by cash, checks, and/or bank wire. No credit card payments accepted for this item.

Please email your inquiries to info@vgmerchandise.com

All in all, I guess this has nothing to do with surfing or design, and I’m not really interested in buying Mr. Gallo’s sperm, I just think it’s really funny.

Where to Buy

Vincent Gallo's Website $1,000,000

Babble 07/03/2008

Mark Philippoussis Almost Died at Winkipop

Click here for the news footage.

[ via: news.com.au ]

FORMER tennis ace (and Age of Love hunk) Mark Philippoussis has cheated death while surfing in wild seas off Victoria’s southwest coast.

The Scud was surfing off Bells Beach when he got into trouble in the turbulent waters before being dragged into a sea cave while his board was smashed in half, Channel 9 reported.

Philippoussis’ ordeal began when he paddled out of Winki Pop beach, between Bells Beach and Torquay, on the Surf Coast, southwest of Melbourne, yesterday morning.

Witnesses told the Nine the former top 10 player suffered hip and feet injuries after being swept into the area known as The Valley, while being battered by huge waves.

Witness Steve Ryan said he told Philippoussis not to surf out of Winki but to head closer to Bells Beach.

“I said, ‘Ah mate, I wouldn’t be going there because the sweep is really strong. Go up the stairs, down to Bells Beach, go a little bit up the beach then paddle out’ and said be careful,” Mr Ryan told Nine.

“He nearly got taken out by a big set … which was really dangerous.”

Philippoussis’ girlfriend was nearby and was alerted to the problem, Nine said.

Mr Ryan said the conditions were treacherous and Philippoussis was slightly injured.

“He got swept down, broke his board and took refuge in a cave for, like, two hours, had all his feet up and he hurt his hip,” he said.

Read on…

Babble 07/02/2008

LOOK UP!!!

By popular demand, I finally added a lot more banner photos. There are now about 100 of them that will randomly come up, so if you’re truly bored and have nothing else in life to look forward to, refresh… refresh… refresh…

Babble 07/01/2008

The Name is Bond, Faceplant Bond.

Pierce Brosnan -- Talk to the Sand!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Babble 06/24/2008

Bu' Boys

Forget all you’ve heard about The Bra Boys, The ‘Bu Boys are the new surf gang in town, and they “like to fuckin’ drink and party, wooooohoooo!!!”, so if I were you, I’d stay away from Pt. Dume.

A few Paparazzi got their asses beat when they were trying to film Surfer Dude Matthew McConaughey this weekend surfing (well… paddling with his chest on the board like a beginner) at Little Dume. TMZ is trying to spin it to sound like they were protecting McConaughey, but we all know that they were really protecting the privacy of the break, not the dreamy, muscle ridden star.

Personally, I love it when these guys get in fights. Although what they do is not technically “against the law”, it’s a total invasion of privacy, and shows a complete disrespect for some basic human needs. I think they deserve every beating they get.

Click Here to watch the video or here for Part 2.

Babble 06/16/2008

And Speaking of Drugs

I normally don’t care much about this stuff, but I thought this was particularly funny:

Former Broadcom CEO, CFO Plead Not Guilty

Broadcom co-founder Henry Nicholas III pleaded not guilty Monday to federal drug and securities fraud charges.

Nicholas entered the pleas before a judge in Santa Ana, Calif. Former Broadcom chief financial officer William J. Ruehle also pleaded not guilty to securities fraud.

Last month, securities regulators filed a civil suit alleging that Nicholas, Ruehle, company co-founder Henry Samueli and general counsel David Dull falsified Broadcom’s reported income, leading to what is believed to be the largest-ever accounting restatement related to backdating stock options.

The SEC said Broadcom had to restate its financial results in January 2007 because of the scheme and reported more than $2 billion in compensation expenses it had not accounted for.

Nicholas is also accused of stockpiling cocaine, methamphetamine and ecstasy. He allegedly used ecstasy to spike the drinks of business associates. Prosecutors said the former CEO once smoked so much marijuana on a private plane that the pilot was forced to put on an oxygen mask.

The case is set for trial on July 29.

[ via: NPR ]

Babble 06/16/2008

I know it's Wrong, but I Just Keep on Laughing...

Chick Slips And Slams Head On Stairs

I don’t know why I think it’s so funny when people fall down, maybe because it’s funny.

0 comments

Tags: falling, video